Memes, Pics, Tweets, Vlogs, and Such

 I probably won't have a lot of time to blog as much as I would like in the next few weeks to come.

Along with blogging, another hobby of mine is acting, and I am in a Murder Mystery Dinner theatre production with a local community theatre and I'll be in rehearsals a lot for the next few weeks until after September 20th.

However, I still will keep up with my other ways of social media, so you can keep up with me that way.

Yeah, this post is a shameless plug, I know.


You can follow me on INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

YOUTUBE (Though I don't vlog much)

And you can also follow a Facebook page that myself and two other people from my parish started. It's a meme page specifically for the Anglican Catholic Church ( A.C.C.)

Anglican Catholic Church Memes


Short blog, I know. I hope to post something this weekend, before my schedule gets too crazy.


The Lord be with you.

Communion: Real or Symbolic?

When I was 17 years old and attending the Presbyterian church, I was best friends with a Roman Catholic girl.

One day, my friend invited me to a special class that her church was having in regards to the different books and tools they use during mass.

I thought it would be a lot of fun. I didn't know much about Catholicism (Aside from what I had seen in movies) and I thought it would be really cool to learn about how they worshipped.

At the time, all the different items and prayers was a bit overwhelming to remember. But one thing that did stick out that the Deacon (Who was leading the class) said was this:

"One thing that makes our communion different from the Protestants is that we believe that the bread and wine are Christ's real Blood and not his Symbolic. For Christ said himself "This is my Body and Blood."

At the time, I couldn't believe what he just said. "His ACTUAL body and blood? That's not possible. Jesus just meant it figuratively. This guy does NOT know his Bible very well".

Well, it took almost a decade for the Teenage know it all to finally  realized that the deacon actually knew what he was talking about.

When I started attending the Anglican Catholic Church, Father nick brought up the subject of communion (Or Eucharist as it's more commonly known in the more liturgical church) and explained that In The Anglican Catholic Church, it is believed to be that it is, in fact, real.

I pondered this a bit. When I was in the Charismatic church, I was told Catholics only knew tradition and religion, and not the Bible.

But I knew Father Nick knew his word. He's a former priest of the Roman Catholic church, and left when he saw the corruption. Hence why he became an Anglo Catholic.

And from what he explained, every tradition in the Anglican Catholic church had a Biblical reasoning for it.

I later also learned that it wasn't just the Roman Catholic or Anglican Catholic church that held this same belief.

Episcopalians and Lutherans hold the same belief. So, I decided to research myself. Does the Bible say that the bread and wine (Or crackers and grape juice) is the ACTUAL body and blood of Christ.

I obviously started with Luke 22:19.

"And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

Only thing was,  growing up, I was taught that the "Do this in remembrance of me" part was Christ telling us, it was symbolic. So I kept digging.

John 6:52-58
"The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” ⁵³ So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. ⁵⁸ This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread^[a] the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.”



That hit me. Christ said that it was, indeed, his body and blood.

It took me a while to comprehend. I would talk about this subject with some of my Evangelical friends, and most of the time would just scoff.

"Come on, April... We're not ACTUALLY eating Jesus! That makes no sense!:
"

And it didn't to me, for a while anyway. but then I remembered the old testament.

As a way of repentance for the Jews of the old testament, they would slaughter an animal. Sometimes cows, sometimes lambs,

 The reason why we no longer need to sacrifice our animals was because Christ was the ultimate sacrifice. He was the lamb of God.

In old testament times, after they slaughtered the animal, they wouldn't just throw it away. they feasted on the lamb. Lamb's and cows were considered clean. It was one of the reasons why They could not slaughter pigs and other animals considered unclean.

Christ was the purest lamb and we consume his body and blood as channels of grace through him and into ourselves.


So when does the bread and wine stop being bread and wine?

Well, different denominations have different theories.

In the A.C.C., it is believed that when the Priest lays his hands on the cup and bread and says "This is my body/ blood" then it truly becomes so.

It's one of the reason why we bow towards the altar before we take our seats in the pews. On the altar, is, for lack of a better term, a safe, with the pre transubstantiated bread. It's kept there for safe keeping for when the priest needs to give the Eucharist at a moment's notice.  We bow to show our respect because the presence of Christ is in the Sanctuary.  We kneel while taking communion as a sign of respect because we are eating Christ's body and drinking his blood.

I hope this clears some things up for some of my Evangelical friends out there.

Also, I just started up a Twitter Account. You can find me @vieledanglican .

May the Lord be with you.




 

Praying to Saints?

So since I've been open about praying the Rosary, I've had quiet a few people express concern that I am "Praying" to saints.

I've mentioned in a previous blog that I am not praying to the saints but asking them to pray for me.

That blog can be found HERE!

Still, I have a lot of friends and family still convinced that I am praying to saints, and therefor, seeing them as gods.

This is FAR from the truth.

I want to make it very clear:

I pray TO God. Every Anglican does. If you pick up any Book of Common prayer, every single prayer is directed to God the father almighty.

so, what's the point of asking saints to pray? Why not always go directly to God?

well, let me ask YOU a question.

Have you ever dealt with something that burdened you? Maybe a particular sin you can't seem to shake?
 Or maybe a health issue?

Or a death in the family?

Sure! We all have. Now let me ask you this:

Have you ever gone to your family, friends, or fellow church members and asked them to pray FOR YOU?

I know almost everyone of my Christian friends do, because I see it on their Facebook statuses daily. You'll even see a prayer request on my wall on occasion.

So why ask them to pray for you if you can just go directly to God?

See the similarities?

Whenever I speak to a saint, I never ask them to deliver me or to cure me. I always ask them to pray for me.

Examples:

"Holy Mary, Mother of God (Again, Mary is the Mother of Christ who IS God. She is not the Mother of the father or the Holy spirit), pray for us sinners now and until the hour of our death."

or
"Saint Zachary, Patron saint of Peace, pray for us." etc.

Any prayer I send up to ask for forgiveness, healing, or strength, goes to God directly.

Another question I get constantly is "Is it Biblical"?

Actually, Yes! There are quiet a few passages in scripture in which it mentions the prayers of the saints in heaven.



  Hebrews 12:1
" Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us^[b] and persevere in running the race that lies before us "

Key words there being " Great Cloud of Witnesses". So that tells me, that all the saints that enter heaven (canonized or non) are looking over us.

 Psalm 103: 20-21
"Bless the Lord, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, hearkening to the voice of his word! Bless the Lord, all his hosts, his ministers that do his will!"

Psalms 148
"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens, praise him in the heights! Praise him, all his angels, praise him, all his host!"

In the book of Revelation, John sees that "the twenty-four elders [the leaders of the people of God in heaven] fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and with golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints" (Rev. 5:8). Thus the saints in heaven offer to God the prayers of the saints on earth.


 Angels do the same thing:

(Rev. 8:3–4).
"An angel came and stood at the altar [in heaven] with a golden censer; and he was given much incense to mingle with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar before the throne; and the
smoke of the incense rose with the prayers of the saints from the hand of the angel before God"

The Rich man in the book of Luke called out to the Father Abraham to intercede on his behalf.

Luke 16:24
"The rich man shouted, 'Father Abraham, have some pity! Send Lazarus over here to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue. I am in anguish in these flames.'


So we do have some strong Biblical evidence that the saints pray for us and that the saints on earth asking the saints in Heaven to pray.


The church in heaven is very much alive. The saints that are in heaven are in heaven with God. They have achieved enteral Life. They are just as much apart of the Body of Christ as the church here on earth.
 
More so, even, since they resonate in the same Domain (Heaven) as the God-head (Trinity).

So if I am willing to go to my earthly mother and ask her for prayers when I am dealing with something difficult, why wouldn't I be willing to ask my spiritual Mother Mary for prayers?

 Now does this mean that every single Anglican asks the saints for intercession?

No. We have a lot of people who refuse to participate when we meet in the Archbishop's office on the occasional Sunday of reciting the Rosary.

Is it nessicary to be an Orthodox Christian and to ask the saint to intercede?

Of course not.

Why do it?

Well, besides Biblical evidence, I see it strengthens my relationship with Christ when I communicate with his family members.

Here on earth and those I shall meet in Paradise when that day should come.

It strengthens my prayer life, and there for, my faith. It what works for me and many other, but not everyone has to.

If you choose not to, that's fine.

Just please keep in mind, that those that do, are not worshiping the saints.

Before I go, I do want to leave a great Spoken Word by Father Pontifex, a Roman Catholic priest, who does great justice with this subject.

The Lord be With you.

How Orthodoxy Helps my A.D.D.

So I went to visit my grandmother's house a few days ago, and the subject of the Rosary came up.

My Grandmother is a Methodist so, she was a bit concerned when she heard that I was praying the Rosary almost on a regular bases.

I explained to her that the different prayers come from scripture as I have mentioned in a previous post.

She's still doesn't get the Rosary, but she told me something that made me think a bit.

She said she was having a conversation with one of my aunt's about me prying the rosary and my aunt told her this:

"April likes praying the Rosary, the written prayers, and the structure of the Anglican Catholic church because it's organized, and the organization helps her focus better with her A.D.D."

It got me thinking.

You see, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder around the age of seven. This thing has been a pain in my butt ever since.

School was awful for me. I'm was a smart kid, but you couldn't be able to tell by my standardized tests scores. I was always losing books, binders, papers, and homework assignments, I could never keep my room or my backpack clean, and it always felt like a million different things were going on in my head all at once.

In fact, if you notice any spelling errors or grammar mistakes in this blog, that's due to my A.D.D.
I know my grammar (I actually did really well with English and Grammar at school) and yes, I know how to spell, but when I'm writing, it just doesn't come out.

If anyone wants to volunteer to be my editor, let me know.

The medication they put me on helped me focus a bit better, but around the age of 11, they noticed

that it wasn't really having an affect on me anymore.

They tried different medications, and all they ended doing was making me fall asleep. So I stopped taking medication and learned how to control in on my own.

And for the most part, I have. Though there were times that I found it hard to pay attention.

It's hard for my mind not to wonder while I'm sitting, listening to an hour long sermon. I just don't have to attention spam for that long. I would hate it if someone asked me what was the sermon was about, and I didn't really have an answer because I was of in my own little world. And I would feel bad about it because I was just sitting in church, not soaking in God's word.

However, things started to change after I started attending the Anglican Catholic.

In the Liturgy, I'm not just sitting there. Everyone is in full participation. You stand, you kneel, you ake the sign of the cross, you chant, your recite, you take communion, you are not just observing. Your there Getting fed the word of God and the Body and blood of Christ, but you are also in a full act of worship.

For my non liturgical friends may be wondering "What about the sermon?"

There is one. But it's only 15 minutes. Now when I first visited, I thought "How can you "get fed" in 15 minutes". Then I started really listening to the sermons of my priest and was blown away. You see, my rest can preach something, and later through out the week you'll still be thinking about it.

Now, not every priest is the same, when it comes to preaching, but so far, I haven't been disappointed by the 3 I have heard.

Even the crucifix's and the icons all around the sanctuary help me focus. It's easier for me to say my Hail Mary's when I'm looking at a statue or painting of Mary.

Or easier to say the general confession when I am looking at Christ on the Stained Glass window or on a crucifix.

The liturgy was something I had to get used to after being used to the loosey goosy of the Charismatic and Evangelical churches, but after a while, I noticed, I like the Liturgy better.

And I liked the fact that The Church understands that everyone's minds are different.

When I was going to the Charismatic church, my pastor at the time would kind of roll his eyes whenever the subject of A.D.D would come up. He didn't believe it existed. (Which I find funny, because looking back on those days, I'm almost convinced he has A.D.D. himself) and when his mother held a revival, I went up for prayer because I was having a very difficult time in school. In front of everyone she said

"You just need to study!"

OH REALLY? Wow, why didn't I think of that. Oh wait, I did, but I suck at studying and no one really taught me a good way to study until I started taking classes to get my G.E.D.

If it sounds like I'm bitter at the people, I'm not. I grew up hearing it all my life.

You see, I've noticed a pattern in some dispensational churches that mental disorders don't really exist.

In fact, a friend of mine who grew up in the Independent Fundamentalist Church was once told by a church member, that if he just had more faith, he wouldn't need to take medication for his Paranoid schizophrenia.

Yep, not even joking.

So you can imagine the joy I had when I heard my priest recently obtained his Master's degree in Counseling.

Anyway, I think I might be getting sidetrack, but at the same time, made a good point. (My A.D.D in action).

The structure and the devotions, and even the repetition of the prayers and services help me stay out of LA-LA Land, and focusing on God. I could sit down for an hour long sermon and not get a single thing out of it.

I wasn't involved, and certainly not paying attention, so what was the point of being there?

I feel like for the first time in my life, that I'm an actual Bible Student. I'm worshiping God, but at the same time, I've been getting a real education, and the devotions and written prayers assist with that.

Some people may find the Liturgy Boring, and redundant, but it has helped me so much with getting to know Christ and getting to know what it means to be his servant.

The Lord be With you.

Discovering My Spiritual Gift in a Perpetual State of Prayer

The past two days of been warring on me spiritually and emotionally.

No doubt you have heard about the terrible, senseless act of Violence that happened at an African- American church this past week.

Like many I was shocked and sadden, and felt anger.

I've seen it all through out my Facebook newsfeed.

Everyone has theories and is pointing fingers on who to blame.

I've been sad by the environment that I have seen. A Tragedy that should be uniting us, has causing division.

But this happens every time there is a tragedy or spark of controversy.

I used to jump right in and make my stance known.

I used to argue and post my opinions on the cause of things and get in arguments with people of opposing views.

This weekend, however, has been different. This weekend I was in what seemed like a perpetual state of prayer.

I have had my head covered almost the whole time, I found myself on my knees in prayer frequently, when I would pray the rosary I would find myself mentally and physically exhausted. I wept while praying.

And for the first time in my life, I took a fast.

This weekend, I finally figured out what I believe is to be my spiritual gift. Prayer.

You see, when I was in the Charismatic movement, I remember a woman tell me that she thought I was an intercessor.

I always wondered if that was true for many years, but this weekend confirmed it. In the past, I thought how silly. Not me being an intercessor, mind you, but that my gift was just to pray.

I know from experience that at times, prayer can seem like you are doing nothing useful. I thought "everyone prays. What makes intercessors so special?"

And it took me a while to figure out that it's actually a good thing.

You see in times like these, it seems like everyone has a hill to die on and grabs their sword to wage war.

Sad thing is, lately it seems, that they are not fighting their enemy, but their brothers.

Left vs. Right, White vs. black (heck, lately I've been seeing white vs white) North vs. South. Pro gun vs Anti gun.
And it's maddening!

But in the midst of all this turmoil, I saw the most beautiful sight that, again, brought tears to my eyes.

It was newsfeed from the courtroom. The South Carolina shooter was completely stone walled. No emotion, not the slightest bit of remorse and the families of the victims had to face him.

I don't know what I would do if I was in their position. Many people I know would have told this man that they hope he hangs and burns in hell for what he did.

But what they did was the exact opposite.

They told him they forgive him. They begged him to repent. They told him to search for Christ,

  This man took away everything precious they had. Their children, friends, relatives, and pastor, and their main concern was that he find forgiveness in Christ so that he may not perish for eternity when he leaves this life and goes to the next.

At the memorials, there were no riots, no shouting, or blaming. There was weeping, and candles lit, and prayers said, and human beings helping their fellow man in this desperate hour of need.

So I prayed more.

I have been praying for God's comfort and peace for the families, and for God to soften this man's heart.

And that's what I decided to do for now on.

I don't know what pushed this man over the edge. We still have many racist groups in the entire world, let alone this country. But many of them never kill or even think about killing. Many people I know hate their own brothers. I see it on their facebooks. The word hate to describe feeling towards someone is sadly more common than anyone would hope for, but they do not commit acts of violence.

So what did it? And what made him like a stone?

I don't know. This whole blame game, is not my personal fight. Maybe it's yours. and if it is, that's fine. Just please remember who the enemy truly is. And trust me, it's not your facebook friend that might have the confederate flag hanging in their living room. Or the leftist Liberal who wants to repeal the Second Amendment.

My personal feeling is that this young man may be suffering from some sort of demonic oppression, but again, that's my own theory.

All I can do is pray. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort. Pray for repentance. Pray for God's will.

I can't be on the world wide web's battle grounds anymore.

So, like a Carmelite nun, I cloister myself and find quiet and search for the peace of God.

I'm not saying everyone has to do this, but if you feel yourself angry about this whole mess and cannot seem to find peace, I would highly recommend a session of prayer.

And if you do feel that prayer is not enough, remember this:

God has given us two of the most powerful tools in his arsenal:

Prayer and Love.

Something I haven't seen a whole lot on facebook lately. just blame, anger and hatred.

I actually found a very useful prayer for this time:

Gracious God,
surround us and all who mourn this day
with your continuing compassion.
Do not let grief overwhelm your children,
or turn them against you....
When grief seems never-ending,
take them one step at a time
along your road of death and resurrection
in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen

May the Lord be with you. 

Five Styles of Headcoverings

So While at an Inquirer's class at church this week, the topic of Headcoverings came up.

Turns out there are actually quiet a few women at my parish who really want to practice headcovering while attending mass.

Not covering to my extreme, mind you, But there are some women who miss the days of hats and doilies.

I've been asked before "what do you think counts as a headcovering?"

It's simple...something that covers your head.


In 1st Corinthians, Paul doesn't go into a lot of detail of what counts as a headcovering, do we cover all of our hair, some of our hair, our necks, etc.

I think it's because God doesn't really care what you use. The point is not so much covering as it is a sign of submission.

And in that, we have freedoms and liberties to choose our own covering.

And trust me, there are PLENTY of coverings to choose from.

So, I'll go ahead and list some, shows some examples, and even provide some links to wear you can purchase your favorite style.

 

1. THE CHAPEL VEIL

(A.K.A The Mantilla)



 

This is probably the most familiar in any denomination in the more orthodox style churches.

Light weight, usually see through (typically lace) veils that you just place on your head (can be clipped in if needed).

To purchase this one, or see more in this style, check out Liturgical Time's FACEBOOK , ETSY STORE, And WEBSITE .

 

 

2. HEBREW TICHEL

A Headwrap traditionally worn by married Orthodox Jewish women (Though the tradition is becoming less with wigs) Tichels (Pronounced TICKLE) typically covers all of the hair as Orthodox Judaism teaches a Woman's hair is alluring and sensual.

You can however wrap it in styles that let some hair exposed. I have my very own tutorial on how to do such style HERE!

You can use pretty much any scarf you want to wrap your own tichel or you can find a wide variety of tichel scarves and accessories at WRAPUNZEL.COM 

3. HATS

Hats are a great to start off with, especially if you are concerned about looking different, and very traditional in the Anglican church.

Big ones, small ones, colors, shapes, etc. Hats can fit into any woman's style.

I personally have a more appeal to scarves because of the way the very and form to my head, but that's just me.

If you are looking for ornate and Unique, I highly recommend MS. PURDY'S

4. WIDE HEADBANDS

Simple, elegant, and easy to put on, the wide headband tends to be a favorite amongst headcovering women.

You can also just take a thin scarf and tie it around your head with the tails hanging or tied in a bow.

For various headbands, check out GARLANDSOFGRACE.COM .

 

5. HIJAB

(Full Veil)

My personal favorite and here's why:

It's the most modest, it's (in my opinion) the closets style to the original early church, and when I first started attending the Anglican Catholic church (while wearing the full veil) all of the female saints on the stained glass windows wear similar style coverings. Now this is not a style for everyone, but it's the style ,that when I wear it, as a full act of worship.

Some people have asked me if I am from the middle east while wearing it, but I have had a few people ask if I was from Romania, Hungry, and Greek Orthodox.

A long enough scarf can become a hijab with the help of safety pins.

For a tutorial on how I wrap mine, click HERE!

 

There are other various styles out there, but these are my five favorite and the five most used in the Headcovering Community.

 

Feel free to try any of them or create your own.

 

May the lord be with you.



Why I No Longer Need to Speak in Tounges

For the past month my mind was in a bit of turmoil on the subject of tongues.

 I remember first hearing about tongues by a teacher of mine that was part of the Holiness church when I was a Presbyterian.

I found it fascinating and wanted to try it for myself.

I would pray to God to bless me with the gift of tongues, but it never happened.

Then I went to the Charismatic church and I heard it spoken my second visit. I was in awe. I wanted to speak tongues so bad but it didn't happen.

Finally, after a year attending, it happened and I was filled with joy.

After that I prayed in tongues as often as possible.

But even during my time in the charismatic movement, I noticed some things that were a bit off.

People would pray in tongues out loud, they would before a large crowd without an interpreter. Which 1st Corinthians say is a no no.
(1 Corinthians 14:27-28)

When there was an interpreter, things were still off. Someone would say like they were saying the same five words over and over again, but the interpreter would give a long speech. Even then I wondered "How did you get that from that?"

After we left the Charismatic church and started to attend the Evangelical Baptist church, my family and I kept our praying in tongues private.

The church we were going to didn't necessarily have issues with tongues per se, but just ask not to do it aloud. It can cause division and distraction. We understood and kept it private.

When I met my husband, I let him know I was a firm believer in tongues... My husband on the other hand was a firm skeptic.

I waved it off at first. I thought "Well, he just never experienced it."

But he has. He's been in the Charismatic movement before and has seen people being "slain in the spirit" and "pray in tongues" and even then, after looking in the scriptures, he saw it was not Biblical.

I stopped bringing it up. As I was only using it as a private prayer language, I didn't see the fuss in it.

Even attending and then getting confirmed in the Anglican Catholic Church, I still had no issues with praying privately in it. But after attending the A.C.C., I noticed it kept getting infrequent. After my confirmation, it stopped all together.

Speaking in tongues didn't seem to enter my mind until last month, I saw a video by a Lutheran Pastor talking about Charismaticism on his channel called Worldview Everlasting.

In the video he explained about the beginning of the Charismatic movement (which only has been around since the early 1900's) and verses discussing that speaking in a "Heavenly Tongue" that sounds like gibberish is not exactly Biblical.

I was in shock. I talked to my husband.

My husband is a firm believer in tongues, but as he sees it, tongues has to be an actual language. The Lutheran Pastor even explained that the "Language of the Angels" that scripture at times refers to may actually be Hebrew. My husband even told me a story of a Friend of his Father's began to pray in Aramaic with two Arabian men. The friend nor my father in law heard the Aramaic, but the Arabian men heard it perfectly.

I did research on my own, but I still ended up confused. I came to the conclusion that speaking in tongues in a room full of people who all speak the same language is not Biblical. But I still wasn't sure about tongues as a private prayer language.

I didn't want to speak to someone who was one extreme of the argument or the other. I also wanted to speak to someone who KNEW their Bible.

There was one person I had access to that I knew that they knew their Bible cover to cover and knew how to dig deep.

The Archbishop of my church (who's office is located at my Parish. Thank God).

I set up an appointment with him.

When I finally got to sit down and talk with him, I was a bit nervous and rambling.

Though the Archbishop has never acted high above anyone, and is pretty laid back, at times, can make me a bit nervous.

This man is our Archbishop. The head of our church. Our Version of the pope. The highest authority in our church under God.

And yet he is one of the most approachable, easy going, and personable man I have ever met.

So I told him a bit of my background and asked him what his thoughts on tongues where.

I was mostly getting confused by scriptures 1 Corinthians where Paul was giving guidelines for the use of tongues (Guidelines that some in the Charismatic movement seem to like to ignore) but I was having a hard time trying to figure out if Paul was talking about tongues as the way I knew it, or foreign languages, as my Husband knew it.

He gave me a bit of context of the Corinthian church.

As he described it, the Corinths were eccentric. They were the Charismatics of the age. So Paul gave them some guidelines as to not go off the deep end.

He also explained to me that the way he saw it, that this language unknown to men is not Biblical.

This was the way he explained it to me in an email before we spoke in person:

" I do not think the idea of tongues as the neo-pentecostalists understand it is heresy. However, I also think the experience is not normative. The Corinthians, after all, were nuts. Where a church is sick, the charismatic movement can be a sign of health. Charismatics believe strongly in the reality of God, the power of God, and the goodness of God,  But by putting the premium on personal religious experience, the movement also tends to breed individualism, subjectivism, and factionalism. Where the Church is healthy and doctrine is balanced, therefore, the charismatic movement tends to be a problem. If you've benefited from it in the past, that's good. Your disappointment in most of the leaders you encountered is understandable - again, by emphasizing the individual and private experience, they set themselves up for a fall."


I told him about some of the major leaders of the Charismatic movement I had encountered and did research on and was almost heartbroken by what I found.

 But that is one of the issues I have with the Charismatic/ Evangelical movement. It quickly becomes about the individual leader and not the church on the who.

However, he also explained that maybe God lead me to that moment because at the time, I needed it.

As I mention in a previous blog, before I attended the Charismatic church, I was so close from walking away from God altogether and was ready to find another religion because I was doubting what I was raised to believe in and beginning to think I had it wrong this whole time.

The Charismatic movement saved me from leaving God. It was then when I truly started my walk with God. So, I needed to know God existed.

My Archbishop also explained to me that he believes that when we begin our walk with God, he gives us signs to show that he exists. But after a while he makes the signs infrequent because we need to be able to Walk by Faith and not by site.

I can't rely on that warm fuzzy feeling anymore because there are going to be those times when I still need to believe without relying on my feelings, but my faith.

It reminded me when I was covering my head full time. Covering one's head all the time is not a biblical command, however I was going through a transitional period to where I needed to remember God was always with me. After a while the headcovering became smaller then non existent outside church. Because I was walking by faith and no longer by feeling.


So, was I actually speaking in a language that God gave me or was it just some kind of gibberish

coming out of my own head?

Well, to be honest, I don't know.

And yet, I have peace about not knowing.

But I do know this. I know, that no matter what happens, God does exist, and he is with me always, even when it doesn't feel like it.

I also know that I don't have to "speak in tongues" in order to obey God and have a relationship with him.

I'm a big girl now, and I don't need daddy to hold my hand 24/7 to know that he still loves me and cares for me and is always watching out for me.

May the Lord be with you.